When I arrived in Korea 3 short months ago it was late summer. I was told I was going to be living in an apartment in a village that looked across the river and the rice paddy to the mountains. It is a super-small apartment that is, in fact, so small that if I stand directly in the center of it, I can spit in any direction and hit any part of it... Not that I have done this but I truly believe that it is indeed possible.
Before I got to Korea I thought it was going to be really different than it has turned out to be. I expected to see people plowing fields with horses, people to be wearing rags and riding horses... I pretty much expected a lot more horses... Where are all of the god damn horses???
But Korea is pretty much like America... People get up, go to work, work, get off work, and then they do whatever... But it's the little things that are different.
For instance...
Apartments...
95% of the 50 million people in Korea live in apartments. Korea is the size of the American state of Indiana and is home to over 10 times the population... So these people are at a serious loss for space... My co-teacher and I were discussing this one day. I was telling her about back home and explained that my mother lives in a house with a front and back yard... She got super excited and asked if I was super rich or something... I said yes... I guess an average piece of land with an average house on it is SUPER expensive here... Like over one million dollars... According to my co-teacher... Actually she doesn't speak very good English so she either said that, or something about a goat... But I think she said that...
The People...
There are the obvious differences in looks and language and stuff like that...
For Example:
Korean
Not Korean
But taking a more in depth look at the population around here brings to light some very interesting differences... First and most importantly, Korea is a very conformist and nationalistic society. I noticed this the first day I got here... The gentleman who picked me up at the airport was blabbing on and on about how Korean's don't get swine flu because they are a strong race... About how Korean's live so much longer and healthier lives because of their unique national diet... Bla bla bla... And living here the past 3 months I've just noticed more of it. Korean's truly believe that they are better than other people, but not in a slave-owner type of way, they just take it as a known fact like that the sky is blue of that water is wet. It's weird... Also, Koreans are super racist... But, again, not in a slave-owner type of way, but a matter-of-fact kind of way. Especially towards Japanese people... One of my students, a super nice girl who looks like she just plays hopscotch and sings all day came up to me the other day and said, "I hate Japanese people"... I was like, "hmmmm... Ok... Cool..." And she skipped off on her merry way... What the fuck little girl??? I thought she was joking but the look on her face was super serious...
And that leads to another thing...
Korean Humor...
(Guy walk into doctor office, guy say, "Doctor, it hurt when I do", doctor say, "Don't do!")
The Korean sense of humor is WAY different than the American version, or my version for that matter. I mean, look at this shit from popular Asian TV shows...
What the fuck is going on in this mix? I mean, Korean humor is super weird... It's all about doing dumb shit and letting everyone else laugh at how you react to it. And Korean comedy shows are the worst, they're a combination of super slapstick and soft core porn... Which I admit, is kind of awesome... But bizarre... And sarcasm is definitely lost on our Korean brothers and sisters... Whenever I say something sarcastic, which is very often, people look at me like I'm an idiot... Which is pretty much what people do in America, but back in the homeland I at least get comedic recognition points. For example... Now, I have like 300 students right, and instead of learning all of those names, I just point and say, "You", whenever I call on someone... And sometimes there is a lot of apparent confusion about who I'm pointing to, although it's fucking obvious who I'm pointing at. So, sometimes like 3 kids will point to themselves and say, "Me?"... At this point I'll point to the other side of the room and say, "No, him" in a sarcastic tone with a grin on my alabaster face... Right? Good stuff... But then the god damn kid who I pointed at on the other side of the room will start talking... God damn kids...
Dammit... Not this guy again...
(Grasshopper walk into bar. Bartender say, "Herro glasshoppa, we have drink name after you". Grasshopper say, "You have drink name Kim Chan Bae Young Ho?")
Side Note:
(Does there need to be a red cross through this guy??? If I saw a mother fucker like this around my neighborhood I'd call the fucking cops in a second... Do we need to be told??? And why is he black? A little racist isn't it? And also, why does he have no head? A HUGE body, no head and a huge mouth... HMMM... Hey, that's Marlon Brando!)
End Side Note:
Money...
Obviously the money is different... But what's the deal with all the fucking zero's??? This has been pissing me off for some time now... And not just about Korea... The Italian Lira is the same way... It's like 100,000,000 Lira for a can of coke and if you want to buy a car??? Fuck, you have to spend like a kazillion Lira or won... The smallest increment of paper money available is the 1,000 Won note. It's like $.85... Why don't they just lop off those 3 zeros and call it a 1 won note??? I mean honestly... I am literally a millionaire here... But with the exchange rate being like 1500 KWN to 1 US Dollar... It makes telling babes I'm a millionaire almost meaningless!
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